Your Patience Will Be Rewarded!

It's been a very stressful couple of months. This semester has been crazy and busy and broken. I wanted to have this site filled with awesomeness. I wanted gift guides and study tips, etc., but life just got too damn nutty for me to handle everything at once so I had to let go of this baby of mine. Next week is the last day of the semester and I am really excited to get going with this website. Me and my very best friend, Imani, will be writing and posting constantly for our lovely readers. An entire month of freedom will bring some life into this boring blog so hold on a little longer my loyal readers. (who I cannot believe I even have right now. Thank you so much to those of you who check up as often as you do)

xoxo Alex

New Friends with Old Friends

Do not own photo

When someone who was once your friend, tries to contact you after two years and you ignore it and they continue to press, what are you supposed to do? I put myself in their shoes and decided that if I was the one who screwed up and I was trying to get in touch with someone I hurt, I would want some kind of response, even if I didn’t deserve it. I would want a chance. So, I gave him that chance. I gave him the chance, but I made it clear that I was not someone who sat and nodded along with “I did this but you did that” bullshit anymore. If I didn’t do anything, I will not tolerate being told I did just so he can feel like he deserved less of the fault. 

Hearing the words “I’m sorry” is something everyone likes to hear when they deserve to hear it, but it does not matter unless the words are sincere and you will never know if the words are sincere until it is proven to you after the whole forgiveness part. It’s a tricky situation. I wanted to keep my guard up. I wanted to make it seem like I had a wall up but it’s hard to do that with a person you were so close with before. Immediately I gave in and heard myself say “I love you” and I immediately felt regret. I felt like I betrayed myself by “giving in.” But then I remembered that I promised to say how I felt from now on. Wasn’t it just a few months ago that I decided to spread the love? Wasn’t it just a few months ago when I decided that the way to live my life was by telling the people I love that I loved them while I had the chance. And that’s what I did. And that’s how I feel. I love him because he was a friend for a long time and whether or not this friendship continues into our adult lives, I will always have a love for this person. 

The ages 15 to 25 are brutal when it comes to change. The people you knew in high school are not the same people today. Some change for the worse, some change for the better. You’d be surprised at how many change for the better. I’ve had brief encounters with a couple people from high school that I was not friends with because I didn’t think they were very nice people back then, but today my opinions have changed drastically. I couldn’t believe how different it was talking to them, catching up and if someone asked me three years ago if I thought I would be doing that with these people, I would have laughed, “No way in hell.” 

I know that I have changed a lot from when I graduated from high school and I have to let myself accept the fact that others have changed as well. There were two specific people in my mind that I was the closest I’d ever been with anyone and I never thought I would be friendly with them again. But recently I have opened my mind a little more to see what these people have changed into and I am satisfied with one and certainly against the other. And that’s okay. I’m not saying to give everyone who wronged you in the past another chance, because sometimes your life is just better without these people in them, but don’t close yourself off from the chance to gain a little more knowledge about them. I recently learned a lot about this friend I’m talking to again and it really got me thinking if this was a good idea. My mind was kind of scattered while catching up because I was letting myself go a little but at the same time scolding myself for doing that so soon. I did manage to keep some things to myself though because there’s nothing worse than completely opening your heart to someone again only to find out it was huge mistake a month later. I want to move slowly and carefully into this familiar but unfamiliar territory and it’s not because I don’t trust this person, it’s because I don’t trust myself to be careful when opening up again. I spent my whole life trusting too quickly and too easily and though it got me a lot of different kinds of friends, it caused a lot of destruction as well. I don’t regret it though, because now I know. Lesson learned. Learn from my mistakes and all the other cliche`s you can think of. 

I guess what I’m trying to get across here is that we are all human. We all make mistakes, we all forgive either too quickly or we don’t forgive at all and we should learn from each other so we can balance our faults. Yeah, maybe I did dive into the friendship too quickly yesterday because it was so familiar, but maybe thats okay, because we’re older and we talked and we listened and we agreed and hopefully we learned. 

Time will tell though, won’t it?


Xo Al

Season of Giving

As you're out and about buying gifts for your friends and family for this holiday season, take a second and look around at what you can buy for those who can't afford. It's no secret that almost everyone is having a hard time financially right now, but at least I have a bed and home and a warm blanket this winter. Their are countless families who have none of these this holiday season. Their are so many little kids who have parents worrying and feeling terrible about how they can't afford toys and presents for their little ones to wake up to on Christmas morning. This is where we come in.

It will take no more than 5 minutes to Google your local communities food pantry or holiday charity. It took me 10 minutes to locate and get the numbers for two homeless shelters in two cities I spend most of my time in. 

I spent 80 dollars at TJ Maxx yesterday buying some toys and outfits for children in the Quincy area. Father Bills Place is a wonderful organization that helps the homeless in the South Shore/Boston area. 

I am also looking through my kitchen cabinets and running into a local supermarket to buy some more canned goods and boxes of pasta to bring to my small town's food pantry.

There are so many different things you can do right now. Not only can you be doing this yourself, but if you post about it on Facebook, friends and family can be encouraged to help out too. So, please, this holiday season give to the families who need help in your area.

It's the Season of Giving.... and hopefully you will continue to give throughout the year. 

Xo Al

Holiday Nails

Black nail polish with gold glitter tips faded... Not the usual holiday look but thats my style ;]

Xo Al

Christmas Lights

Do you ever drive or walk by somewhere that is full of lights for the holidays?

Something I do with my family every year is that we drive or walk around somewhere local that is full of lights. Whether it's a neighborhood that really decks out or a some kind of Christmas village that opens for the public. It's a perfect way to spend time with family and friends and if you're in the car.. make a mix CD with your favorite holiday tunes and bring mugs of hot chocolate if you're walking around.

Do not own this picture