Angry Women United

I am absolutely obsessed with Margaret Cho's blog posts on Beauty & Body Image. She doesn't hold back what she's thinking or feeling. Margaret is pissed the fuck off and she is letting the world know. I love it. I love it so much. For awhile now, I've been trying to hold back my anger. I really have. But having anger, having passion for something is not something that should be held back all the time. If that was the case, then no one would ever stand up about anything they believe in. There would not have been any kind of change in this world. Anger and passion... Two feelings I have been trying to lock away, but can no longer.

I've been known to lecture when I hear people say anything negative about other people. Especially with the girls in my family. If I hear one of them bashing some girl in their class I get fucking livid. Trust me, my wrath is known. Sometimes it will be about the tiniest thing and I will look like a crazy dramatic bitch. But what people don't understand is that those tiny words like "fat" or "slut" and the like are not tiny words. They are not words that should be taken lightly and it makes me angry that we live in a society where these words are thrown around like nothing. You hear them at school, at work, in public, from your friends, and from your family... these words are everywhere. They are usually linked with the excuse, "Well, they said this about me" or "They did this to me." Not an excuse. I do not and will not take that as an excuse. EVER.

I grew up with plenty of people saying horrible things to me and about me. I didn't go around saying horrible things about them because "they did it first." No, because I know its wrong and I know its hurtful and scarring and I would never, ever want to inflict that kind of hurt and pain on another person. Not even my worst enemy.

I am obsessed with reading Margaret Cho's blogposts because she is so raw that it gives me goosebumps to have someone at her status spew anger that I have in my own heart about the fucking assholes in this world. Margaret Cho is fierce. She is angry. She is real. I wish more women were as pissed off as she is because it disgusts me how much we put up with in this world today. We have girls pining for abusers like Chris Brown, we have girls starving themselves to be on Top Model type tv shows and we have girls being beaten down by society because their size, race, beliefs, sex life and everything else in-between. Maybe if we had more women in this world like Margaret Cho we wouldn't be watching the rich, old, white men in our government slowly take away the rights our mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers and so-on fought so hard for us to have.

Margaret is pissed off. I'm pissed off. You should be pissed off.
There are so many different topics that I want to tell you to be pissed off about, but I shouldn't have to tell you. It's common fucking sense. It's common fucking sense to be a decent human being...

- arp

Still hungover?

Oh, I forgot to write a blog post dedicated to St. Patrick's Day because I guess as a blogger, you're supposed to do things like that.

I wish I could use the excuse that I was too drunk to even work a computer because as a freckly Irish lass I was celebrating leprechaun day.

But I actually went to my nanas house and ate a boiled dinner even though they don't do that in Ireland and then I went and got froyo with my cousins and friends because thats we do when we need to escape the crazy adults in our family. (because as a 21 year old, I'm not an adult yet, right?)

Anyway - Happy St. Patrick's Day 2 days late. I hope you didn't get arrested. Unless you were those really obnoxious drunk teenagers at the parade every year who think they're super awesome for getting shit faced around a bunch of Southie families...

Is anyone else getting sunburnt on your back porch on this beautiful day? Am I the only one on Spring Break right now because my school sucks and waited until everyone else went back to school? Does this count as a good blog post for the day?

Well, it's good enough for a Monday after St. Patrick's weekend...
How long until you'll stop gagging after someone mentions Baileys?

Receiving Respect from Your Professors Goes A Long Way

The past couple of semesters I've done my best to gain respect from my professors. This is something that every college student should make their goal. Not only is it great when you need recommendations (if you’re transferring from a 2 yr to a 4 yr) it makes you study harder, pay attention more and spend a lot more time writing that research paper. Striving to gain respect from your professors creates a whole new level of motivation that you’ve never experienced before. Before you know it, you’re getting papers back with those big red A’s, tests back with the maximum amount of points received and what I think is the best, a vocal “well done” when your professor hands you those papers. I’m going to help you get that respect. I’m going to help you do the best you can in your classes. Follow these tips and you should be golden. 

1. Eye Contact

If you’re like me, then the first day of class you go straight for the back of the class. I hate sitting up front. I feel like everyone is staring at me. I know that is ridiculous and totally self-centered, to think the whole class is staring at me, but I’m 21 so that means I’m still narcissistic and will be until I’m… a mother? I don’t know. Anyways… If you’re like me freshman year of college than you’ll be making your way to the back corner of the room. Wrong. I’m going to allow you to sit in the back of the class, okay? Because that is where we feel comfortable, but I refuse to let you hide in the corner. You are not being punished for being in class. It may feel that way sometimes, but you are not a little kid being told to sit in the corner for pulling little Mindy’s braids. Sit in the back center. Or as close as the center you can get. Why? Because your professor is most likely standing in the front center of the classroom and you want that professor to see you. You want the professor to know you are paying attention and you want him to know that you are listening intently. We all know how it is when we try to avoid eye contact because we don't want to be called on, but we are not in high school anymore. It's time to accept the fact that you have a human body and therefore are not invisible when you aren't making eye contact with someone. So, suck it up and look right back at your teacher when they're speaking to the class. It will make them see that they are actually speaking to you, educating you. You want them to notice you noticing them. Get it? Making eye contact, nodding, furrowing eyebrows while writing notes. This is what your professor wants to see. Make it happen.

2. Speak up

You know when your professor asks the class a question about the reading or whatever you are studying and no one answers? Yeah, be the person who answers. Why? Because your professor is wishing with all his/her might that someone will actually say something. It does not matter if you think your answer is wrong or not what they’re looking for. Say it. You will either be a) right, and your professor will be all “yes!” and continue on or b) you will be wrong and the ground beneath you will open up and you and your desk will fall to the pits of hell. OH, thats not what will happen if you’re wrong?! WOW. Who knew?! Look, if your answer is wrong your professor will definitely make note that you spoke up anyway and then you will be the person he/she is talking to when explaining the actual answer. Again, eye contact while they’re explaining, listen and take notes. Try to involve yourself in the discussion always. I have a lot of teachers who want people to actually speak up and they never do. Everyone is scared to be wrong but if they notice that someone is talking, it will encourage others to shout out or raise their hand too. Ya know? Don’t freak yourself out about these things. Your professor wants to hear you. Speak up.

3. Ask Questions

Same rules apply to this one as they do in #2. You and everyone else in the class have questions and no one asks. It makes the professor think that you aren’t doing the homework or reading the material. It makes the professor think you don’t care. Raise your hand and ask the damn question. You’ll feel weird for two seconds while asking it and then it’s done! Then the professor explains it and who knows, it might widen the view on the topic. Professors may be doing the teaching, but they still want to learn what their students are thinking. If you are still being a little scaredy cat and don’t want to raise your hand in a room full of other scaredy cats, then go to them after class. The point is, you want the professor to know that you care, that you want to know the material, that you want to do well.

4. Go to every single class

Yes, even if the syllabus says you can have up to 4 missed classes without being penalized. Guess what? It’s a big fat lie. Yes, you might not have points deducted for not showing up, but when they’re putting your final grade in and they see that you attended all of their classes they might bump you from a B+ to an A-. Showing up to class means you don’t miss anything, so you are always kept up to speed, it means that your professor sees your face on a regular basis and it means that you get the respect that the other slackers don’t. If you must miss a class due to a doctor’s appointment or whatever, make sure you e-mail them ahead of time and assure them that you will bring some sort of documentation to excuse the absence. Don’t just not show up. It’s disrespectful. And unless you are in a huge lecture hall full of 300 people, they will notice. 

5. Do not miss your due dates!

Pass your damn assignments in on time! I promise you that your professor is receiving more than a few emails the night before or the day of full of excuses of why essays or whatever aren’t going to be completed on time. Don’t add your name to that list. Just don’t do it. The only time you shouldn’t be passing in something on time is when you have SO many other assignments due on the same day, and if thats the case, then you should talk to your professor in person at least a week before the due date and ask if you can maybe get an extension. I’ve had to do this before. My professor was surprisingly very okay with it. He didn’t even let me finish explaining why I needed it, he just said, “That’s fine, as long as you do well on it. It’s alright!” I’m always scared to ask my professors for things, but it’s never been a problem for me. Sometimes we forget that the good ones actually want us to do well. And if you follow the other tips I’ve listed for you, then they should be okay with their favorite student needing a day or two to make their paper even more kick ass. ;)

6. Suck up

Okay, by “suck up” I don’t mean be the annoying teacher’s pet that everybody wants to jump in the parking lot after class. I mean, if you look through your syllabus and see some things you’re looking forward to reading/doing, let them know! Before you leave class or if you see them walking through the building, just say a quick hello and a “oh, by the way, the syllabus looks great this semester. I’m really looking forward to this class!” They might give a slight nod and a quiet thank you or something not very enthusiastic, but I promise promise promise they were glad to hear that from a student. Teachers are people. They are not just robotic creatures of the underworld forcing you to do hours of homework because they get some sick enjoyment out of it. (okay, maybe some of them are, but lets stay positive here.) They too, like to hear that they’re doing well. If you enjoy someone’s class, let them know. They’ll keep you in mind when they’re sending in your final grades. 

I wish it didn’t take me so long to figure out to do this stuff.  I’m finally getting recognition from my professors and thats because I’m finally working my ass off to do well. Getting good grades is not the only thing to strive for in school, you guys. Creating a student/teacher relationship is really important. You never know who has connections or who you need recommendations from. It's a fabulous feeling when you realize you need something from a teacher and you can think of a bunch that would be willing to help you out. 

College can be unbearable. It can be scary. It can be intimidating. But do not forget that it’s not just like that for the students… We are all adults here. There may be some large gaps between student/teacher ages, but we are all adults. Adults striving to do well. Whether it’s in our studies or grasping the interest of students. Do your best to gain the respect of your teachers. It’s important. For both of you.

xo ARP

Imitation Is NOT the Most Sincere Form of Flattery... It's Annoying

We've all been there: a friend or even a random individual who you are cool with likes the same movies as you. And the same books. And the same music. Before you know it, that person has started trying to talk like you, dress like you, follow the same life path.

Welcome to Introduction to Stalking, 101.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone takes their respect for (or even, in some cases, idolization of) someone to a level reminiscent of the campy plot to Single White Female.

Friends don't need to be exactly alike for them to be friends. The point is that you have some aspects of yourselves that are similar, and some that are, blissfully, different. I actually prefer the differences. It allows me to view and come to appreciate and respect a person's individuality. I pride myself on being an individual; how come others don't? Stand out in the crowd!

I used to want a twin. The gods were kind to my mother though, and only gave her one of me. I don't need someone who hasn't lived my life or walked a mile in my shoes trying to be like Siamese ass twins. It's not cute. I once had a buddy of mine tell me that if someone can do it better than the original, then they should. But she missed the point- there can only be one original. Sure, we all steal ideas. I'm not the first girl to study English, or to have multiple tattoos, or to love jeans with boots or whatever other quirks lie beneath my surface. But I am the only girl in the world to have all those qualities, plus whatever else defines me as me.

Stop insisting on duplicating something unique. Find what works for you and stick with it. Have the confidence to go out there in the world as yourself. That's all anybody else is trying to do.

Micky Ward: You ain't me, all right. You can't be me. You had a hard enough time being you when you had your fuckin' chance and that's why you're in here. All right? - The Fighter

<3 IMP </3

Fiction vs Fact: Are we friends or are we foes?

How the hell do YOU define friend? Go ahead, I'll wait...

Ok, now, how many people do you know that actually FIT that description? Hmph. And what about best friends, bffs, bffls, bf4e, and whatever horrendously cheesy net-slang acronyms one can place around the concept of a friend above all others- what about those?

The concept of friendship has always been a tricky one. And in this post-modern world, we now also have to consider things like associates, allies, frenemies, and plain-old bitches we don't like.

Why is everything so complicated?  Why does having a relationship with someone, where your connection has nothing to do with neither sharing the same blood nor sleeping together, have to be so goddamn taxing? Yes, romantic-relationship are hard with the drama they bring but in the end -the belief is- you find one person with whom you get along and you just keep working at it. With family, you fight, you stop speaking, you move away; but somehow they always get a pass because you have no choice but to just accept them as they are.

Yet the relationship between friends always seems to be more stressful. The other two are just accepted forms of stress. Friendships are supposed to be easy, right?

I feel like the concept of true friendship is starting, like many other things, to become obsolete. Sex and the City-style quartets don't last. I've belonged to a few myself- I know what I am talking about. And I'm the kind of person who is not above a very hard, nasty critique of self. I put my own words, actions, and thoughts under the EXACT same magnifying glass as I do everyone else, and this I do regularly. What causes you to lose friends? Conversely, how do you gain real friends? And how does this affect yourself?

I feel that the first step towards true friendship is to be true to yourself. Remember that magnifying glass I mentioned? You have to be willing to break down your own character- this aides you in being able to see yourself the way someone else would. This does not mean to be self-effacing, or worse, to damage your own psyche. No, you just have to be real about who you are. And you have to accept it- you have to be okay with every aspect about you; flaws and perfections. Then, and only then, can you realize that yes, you may critical or yes, you may be a bit bitchy around that time of the month, or yes, sometimes you are a bit needy. But you can also see that yes, you would give someone your last $10 to be able to afford a bus pass or yes, you will drive to their house at 3 a.m. to console them after breaking up with a boyfriend (or throw a brick through his car window).

You have to accept you. And then you have to find others who accept you as well. The theme of family relationships and romantic ones is acceptance. The same ideology has to be applied in friendship as well. You can't be friends with someone who doesn't accept you- what the hell kind of friendship is that? You need to be able to read people. Social cues and subtlety count for very little these days. You should be able to discern whether someone needs a pat on the back or a good swift kick in the ass and a dose of reality. People get so wrapped up in themselves that they don't know how to think about others. You need to be able to actually feel things too- anger, sadness, contentment. To feel allows you to remember that others feel as well. And, well, if you have someone with the same kind of social skills and intuition that you've got, you will have the kind of friendship where you don't even have to say much- the other person will just know what you think. Don't we all truly desire a connection like that? Isn't that what connecting is all about?

You also have to understand the difference in being a friend and having someone be a friend to you. It is all too easy to throw around the word "friend" because it is such a huge umbrella that seems to be all-encompassing. But not everyone is your friend. You also must accept that even if you have known someone for years, they could really just be a foe in hiding- a wolf in a fabulous sheepskin fur coat with Uggs to match.

The main point is that friendship, like every other kind of relationship out there, needs to be built on mutual acceptance, respect, and support for self and for all others involved. I haven't always been the greatest friend (magnifying glass); years of growing and maturing has taught me that. But if I love you, if I feel for you, empathize with you, cry for you and not because you are related to me or because I am sleeping with you- if I have a genuine spot for you inside of my small bubble of those who I truly care for and give  shit about, then that should be enough. I don't need bffs and allies and whatnot. I just need a small circle of individuals who know me and accept me for who I am- not perfect but working on it. And ready to throw a brick through a window anytime of the day.

<3 IMP </3

Book Club?

I've always wanted to be part of a book club... and now that I've beaten my funk that has kept me from enjoying books like I always have, I've been craving discussion. I'm going to see if anyone I know is interested in the idea and then maybe have it be part of this site. 

We shall see!

xo ARP

Yawn

When I first started this blog, I had a vision in mind. I wanted it to be an online magazine for girls. I wanted beauty, fashion, advice... etc. and then I got bored. Fast. And as I click click click onto a few twenty something websites this evening I find myself reading the same things over and over and over. What Every Twenty Something Needs in Their Closet, How To Defeat those Winter Blues, Are Your Relationships All the Same?:Click here to find out what you're doing wrong, etc, etc,..

As much as I still want to create something one day targeted at young women, I think right now I'm just going to write what comes to me and hopefully find a direction along the way. I'm liking the fact that I have some traffic, it's really keeping my spirits up about this blog. Whenever I start something, I never continue with it and I'm really hoping this time around is different.

A special thanks to the regular readers... ;] There will be more material soon enough!

xo ARP

"Buddy the elf, whats your favorite color?"

This post has nothing to do with Buddy the elf. I'm sorry. I am deeply sorry, but you need to stop crying and pay attention to this very important/disturbing discovery.

If you knew me, you would not expect to walk into a bedroom that looks like I'm sleeping inside of Barney the dinosaur's big pinkish purplish stomach. You'd actually be pretty... shocked.

How about also noticing the pink water bottle I purchased? Or the pink wallet? Or that there are little splashes of pink everywhere you turn in this bedroom?

How would you feel about that? Well, imagine how I feel? Clearly this past year has been some kind of identity crisis struggle for me, you guys. I mean... I even started wearing pink t-shirts from Old Navy. I wore neon pink nail polish the entire summer. I'm very disappointed in my family and friends for letting this happen to me. I'm starting to think this was some kind of plot against me and my sanity. My sanity that has clearly been wasting away ever so slowly.

I know this isn't a quality blog post, but it had to be said. It can no longer be ignored. My favorite color will not be pink. I won't be. It's not.

Now excuse me while I look over the Martha Stewart Living paint samples on the Home Depot website...

What do you think Buddy's favorite color was anyway? Or what about the person who called the office phone that he answered?

xo ARP

Hasta Luego, Mi Amigo!

Goodbyes are tough. No - actually, they’re terrible. I feel like I’m being a bit dramatic about my situation but I don’t care! It hasn’t even been two months since I’ve become friends with a former best friend again and it’s been really wonderful having him back in my life. But he is going to school about 1,200 miles away and it completely sucks. I know I’m not the only person to feel a bit heartbroken when a best friend goes away for awhile so I’m going to help my fellow abandonees sad friends out.

So here are things to remind yourself when you have to say goodbye to a friend who's going away to school, camp, jail or what have you and feel like your life is going to be super boring and dumb without them around.

1. Think about all of the stuff you are going to send to him/her in the mail (you might not actually do this but at least you can calm yourself down with fake happy thoughts)
2. Cell phones. You can text on them. You can also call. It’s a fantastic advancement in technology.
3. Facebook/Twitter You can know what each others doing every moment of the day so it will almost seem as if you’re with them!
4. Skype. Webcam hugs are fun attempts. Right?
5. Talk about each other ALL the time so you get sick of it and you won’t even miss each other for a little while. Other people might get really annoyed, but this isn’t about them!

So, after you say your goodbye and give a drunken hug and then drunkenly cry while eating the last of the toll house cookies in your cabinet… just go to sleep, wake up and plan really obnoxious things to send your friend in snail mail. It will be okay. The semester isn’t that long anyway. You’ll be too busy freaking out over papers, readings, mid-terms and finals to even think about someone else 1200 miles away so don’t even worry about it! Am I right?! ...right?

Xo ARP

Angelina Jolie: My definition of a badass

Angelina Jolie first caught my attention when I was about twelve the day I saw Girl, Interrupted on my television. Wild bleached hair, wide eyes, that mouth and her very expressive eyebrows. At twelve years old, her character Lisa should have been intimidating to me, but I was drawn in and not only to this untamed character, but to the person playing her. I knew even as a kid that someone strong would have to let this type of character into their minds. I asked who she was and ever since then, I have been intrigued.

"I think everybody’s a little repressd, 

everybodys gotta be just more than they are...

I think we’re all a little repressed, we’re all just held back a little. 

If we could all be a little more free.” Conan O'Brien interview (2000)

When mentioned, she gets either two reactions: adoring love or absolute loathing. Angelina Jolie has, does and will bring out a loud reaction from those within earshot. Number one on the list of reasons why she is not liked is the obvious “she stole Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Anniston. She always steals away men.” Now, I could go on about why these reasons are absolutely absurd now in 2012, but I will let you figure that out on your own. Yes, there are reasons why some may be put off by her, but I’m pretty damn sure that those reasons are about 10-15 years old now… so I think it’s time to move on. 

Instead of making what she said when she was a young actress into something so horrid and negative, why don’t people focus more on what she stands for now… or realize what she’s stood for all of this time: freedom. Angelina Jolie was a free spirit and didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought of her. Of course she had her faults but thats what makes her even more admirable to me. She is so un-perfect, she’s perfect. How many women are out there that look back on crazy things they’ve said and done only to be ashamed and embarrassed? How about having all of those things in the spotlight for millions of people around the world to witness? Instead of trying to make people forget, not talking about it or having regretted her younger self, Angelina Jolie embraces it and knows that without those “wild” times or “shocking” moments, she wouldn’t be who she is today.

"I was young, and I was bold, but I didn't have a sense of use. I didn't understand the world, and I didn't understand a sense of perspective that you gain as you get older. I started to travel, and I started to ask questions." MSNBC

Today, Angelina Jolie is Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). She spends devoted time and money to humanitarian projects around the world. “Since 2001, Jolie has been on field missions around the world and met with refugees and internally displaced persons in more than 20 countries, including Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Cambodia, Pakistan, Thailand, Ecuador, Kosovo, Kenya, Namibia, Sri Lanka, North Caucasus, Jordan, Egypt, New Delhi, Costa Rica, Chad, Syria, Iraq and Haiti, to name a few.” source Her and husband, Brad Pitt, founded the Jolie-Pitt Foundation to eradicate extreme rural poverty among other things. 

"My understanding of the world changed. I never woke up again wanting to be self-destructive, self-possessed or self-pitying in any way. I realized that it was important to wake up every day feeling grateful for your family and for your opportunities." MSNBC

I was drawn in with those spooky looking eyes almost ten years ago and have admired and adored Angelina Jolie ever since. I thought she was such a badass back then, with her tattoos, piercings and whatever other dark subjects that were rolling off of her tongue. And if you take the time to read or listen to her speak about all of the wonderful things she is involved in today to help others… you’d realize that she’s even more of a badass now than she was ten years ago. There’s no such thing as a perfect, innocent role model. It’s just not realistic. I want someone to look up to who has gone through some dark periods of her own but has matured and grown from them. Jolie has grown into someone who takes her success and puts it to good use. To this day she lives for herself and for those she loves, not paying attention to tabloids or rumors like all of us do. She lives her life the way she wants, the way she believes it should be lived without giving any thought to how anyone else thinks of it. 

You can love her, you can hate her, but you have to admit… she is somethin’ else.

xo ARP

Being a Rebel SHOULD NOT Be a Passing Phase...

Back in early 2010, I was in the throes of an emotional upheaval that would change the course of my life forever. My mother had just become sick with the condition that would, later on the same year, claim her life. As she lay in the hospital bed, I had to find ways to entertain myself in the now eerily quiet house that we lived in together. On one such occasion, I found myself (as I always do) checking my Facebook page and hating life, when something in the corner caught my eye.

There was an ad on the side of the screen that consisted of a picture of a girl sitting in front of a fire by herself. She had a hood on over her clearly dyed, jet-black hair. There was a piercing in her eyebrow and she had on enough dark makeup to put the most “emo” individual to shame. There were no words associated with this except for a phrase right beneath her- “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. My curiosity was peaked. I decided to research and that is how I was introduced to the world of Lisbeth Salander, one of the greatest modern heroines to be committed to paper.

It took me a few days to get through the first book, less to get through the second, and I finished the third in the series on the same day I started it. Reading was one of many coping mechanisms I used to get through my mother’s death and through this rather healthier endeavor, I made a friend with the female protagonist. She was a computer hacker, which not only suggests a certain “I don’t give a shit about rules or the law” attitude, it also demonstrates a keen intelligence and concentration that is needed to even understand one machine, let alone to hack into several. She had several piercings, plenty of tattoos, she wore her hair dyed black and chopped up. She rode a motorcycle, carried weapons and guns, had a cavalier attitude about sex and most relationships in general. She was totally independent and she was real. She fought back against everyone who tried to control her and keep her down.

Lisbeth is as rebellious and tough as they come. She was a rock star in her own right. However, as much as someone like me (and countless other young females) may place her on a pedestal, we need to examine something first. What made her that way? Would she have been as edgy as she was had she not suffered years of neglect and abuse? Would she not have been that way had she had a “normal” upbringing? It made me question why I loved her so much, why so many other people love her so much. Lisbeth Salander has strength, there is no doubt about that. Instead of whining and whimpering and crying like so many other fictional (and real-life) females do, she sometimes committed horrendous acts of violence in the sake of well-deserved revenge. She was a product of her dysfunctional environment.

In a perfect world, the things that happened to this character would never happen to anybody. Even the minutest offenses I would not deign to wish on my worst enemy. So to read about them, even if they are happening to someone fictional, is almost sickening. It seemed the author had no choice but to make her as strong as she was to endure her own life. I believe this is why I related to her on such a personal level. My life was nowhere close to what LS lived through but it was no peach either. I am not wanting for personal traumatic experiences that leave one altered forever. So to read about how someone rose above it was empowering.

My issue starts to come in, however, when a commanding female presence such as this one is turned into something dismissible. Strength should not be a passing fancy. Lisbeth Salander is the “next big thing” at the moment with the release of the GWTDT movie in America. This means that after the spell has worn off, the character of Lisbeth Slander will fall by the wayside. Her 15 minutes of fame will be over. I have a serious problem with this. To take someone so compelling and diminish her significance down to a mere fad is outrageously brazen. What happened to her also happens in varying degrees to women (and sometimes men) all over the world everyday. These numbers of people finally have someone fictional to look up to and now that someone is reducible to a craze of ripped tee shirts and lip-rings.

It seems that before LS came to the big screen and made being anti-establishment cool, it wasn’t cool and now that she has, everyone will want to be some sort of a bad ass rebel. What happens now to the girl who has a real dragon tattoo and got it before the movie came out as a means of coping with being raped? What about the guy who started carrying around a concealed weapon because he became unhinged after watching his mother get beat down by his father? And the young person who turns into a cyber thief to steal money to be able to pay for the family house that is about to be foreclosed upon, forcing his/her family out into the street- what becomes of this person? Is it now acceptable to be a chick who likes motorcycles? Or a guy who chooses to live on the edge of society? To some, these are just “fads”; this is real life for others. What do you tell them, that this “phase” in their life will only go as long as people can make money off of it and that once they can’t, it’s now over?

Personally, I knew at age 13 I wanted a tattoo. I told my mother and she said “wait until you are 18, then you can legally do whatever you want.” Months after hitting 18, I got my first one. I’m now up to 5 and have every intention of getting at least 3 more. But don’t worry, Hollywood says that right now tats are cool. I’ve always loved motorcycles and the freedom that comes with riding one. I’ve been taught how to shoot handguns. I personally thought the one used in the movie Sucker Punch with the charm dangling at the end was sexy. I want some new piercings. I can look at math puzzles (I couldn’t do this in high school) and now solve them in my head. Hollywood says this is cool. Oh great, now I don’t have to feel like a freak for systematically dyeing my hair black since I was a senior in high school or wearing black eyeliner and black clothes.

I mean really, what the fuck? This was who I was before movie execs turned it into their latest cash crop. So now, all the girls who are going to be sure to request the “Lisbeth Salander” at their next hair appointment, are going to walk around feeling cool for falling for the Hollywood okay-doke once again. Basically, being yourself shouldn’t be a fad. It should be a reality, something that is practiced everyday. And you damn well shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Otherwise, you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan of someone like Lisbeth. Indeed, she never let anyone dictate who she was in life. And as someone who admires this particular character, I have no intention of doing it either.

<3 IMP </3

*PS- I loved the movie and thought Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara did a fantastic job.

This was in no way, shape, or form aimed at the actors.

3 New Year Resolutions that I've heard about the most this week...

1. “I want to lose weight.” This is probably the most popular resolution out there. The only problem with this is that people don’t realize that a year is kind of long. You’re not going to lose weight in the first month of this year and then be a skinnier version of yourself for the next 11 months. People get discouraged when they don’t see the number go down on their scale after a week or they feel sore when they wake up in the morning due to a workout the day before. By mid-year, those resolutions are out the window and you’re back doing the same thing you were before… promising yourself that you’ll do it next year. How about you switch that resolution from “I want to lose weight” to “I want to be healthier.” Losing weight isn’t something that makes you feel better, it’s all up to your mind. You can starve yourself and workout and be skinnier in a few weeks. You look thinner, but you feel terrible… and before you know it, the pounds are back on and you’re hating yourself for it. My resolution is to be healthier. Instead of focusing on the number on the scale, I want to focus on how I feel when I walk up a flight of stairs or how long it takes to run a mile. Not only will I look thinner after some hard work, I will feel better in body and mind. You won’t find me throwing my money to a gym this year, you’ll find me using Wii Fit in my living room and walking around the block. I’ll be punching the bag I have in my basement and lifting the 8 pound medicine ball I bought at Job Lot for 10 bucks. I don’t want to lose weight just to be skinny. I want to build strength in my back and feel like I have a lot longer to live. Throw away the scale… the only thing you should be weighing this year is how you feel. 
2. “I want to be more organized.” Uh, how about I need to be more organized or I’m going to fail out of college. That’s enough motivation for me. Buy a full year planner, highlighters, post-its and whatever else you think you might need and don’t leave the house without them. 
3. Quit Smoking. Here’s some motivation for that… you will die if you don’t quit smoking. Die. You will be dead. And if you don’t die sooner than later, your tongue’s taste buds will diminish and you won’t be able to taste any of the awesome food next Thanksgiving. How about that? I mean, I could list all the reasons why you should stop , but you know them already. It’s not up to me to push you. It’s up to you to spend the money you would have spent on cigarettes on some damn nicotine gum or patches. Get it together. Its a new year. You wanna enjoy it without yellow teeth and lung cancer, dontchya?

I could write a chapter out of a self-help book here on this blog to help myself or you readers out, but honestly, you know all of the consequences if you don’t keep these resolutions. I’m not going to give you step by step instructions on how to keep them because there are NO step by step instructions. It depends on how bad you want this. Get off the couch, chew some gum and make a to-do list.

Happy New Year… now go kick some ass.

Xo ARP